. Many couples believe that some habits strengthen their relationship and let them cross every difficult road. According to psychologists, around 70 % of people become unhappy during their relationship life. Considering that many negative habits bring tears in a relationship, it’s really important to transform them to smiles. Below we are going to reveal […]

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Many couples believe that some habits strengthen their relationship and let them cross every difficult road.
According to psychologists, around 70 % of people become unhappy during their relationship life.
Considering that many negative habits bring tears in a relationship, it’s really important to transform them to smiles.
Below we are going to reveal some habits of a toxic relationship that people think are healthy.
Which Are 4 Toxic Habits Couples Think Are Normal?
1. KEEPING THE PEACE
It seems healthy to want to make sure your relationship stays peaceful and no one gets upset … but if that comes at the cost of talking honestly to your partner about your feelings, and having to keep things to yourself in order to avoid arguments, then it’s an incredibly toxic habit that needs to be broken.
“Ridiculing or humiliating each other is not a good idea, or a good omen. But if you can both talk honestly about what irritates or upsets you and why, you are more likely to understand each other better. It can feel easier to avoid being honest if we feel that could be hurtful, but it is only with honesty that trust is built, and trust is the essence of a good relationship,” says author Kate Figes.
Ignoring problems in a relationship in order to avoid conflict will only mean that the problems pile up until they can no longer be ignored – and by then, it might be too hard to fix.
2. NEVER FIGHTING
While most people think that never fighting is the best way to have a relationship, it’s just simply not feasible. There doesn’t need to be shouting matches or arguments every day, but having two people with two sets of values, opinions and thoughts means that disagreements are bound to happen. When you have two people who never fight, it means that you have two people who aren’t being entirely honest with one another. It’s okay to argue, as long as you do so fairly.
“Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness. Together, they’re known as the ‘Four Horsemen of Divorce,” says Sean M. Horan, Ph.D., assistant professor of communication, Texas State University.
3. NEEDING TO BE “COMPLETED”
Another person is not supposed to “complete” anyone else. We are not people with holes inside of us. We are whole, complete people already. When we think that we need someone else, especially a romantic partner, to complete us and make us whole, it shows an unhealthy degree of dependency on another person.
Couple’s therapist Matt Lundquist, LCSW says, “You are my everything’ is a lousy pop-song lyric and an even worse relationship plan. No one can be ‘everything’ to anyone. Create relationships outside The Relationship, or The Relationship isn’t going to work anymore.”
Placing that much importance on your partner to make you a whole and complete person means that your partner will feel too much pressure to stay with you, even if things aren’t working.
4. JEALOUSY
Everyone has this idea that feeling jealous is supposed to be sexy or romantic – but being jealous is actually a toxic behavior. We can’t control our feelings, and sometimes we get jealous over things. But it’s important not to express that jealousy in a way that can hurt our partners, or in a way that’s toxic and upsetting.
Professional matchmaker and dating coach Bonnie Winston says, “One sign your relationship is toxic is that you are filled with jealousy. You stalk [their] social media accounts looking at [their] friends and contacts and wonder about each pretty face [they’re] connected to. Jealousy is NOT a healthy emotion.”
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